Sole Steepback Personal Journal

Sole Steepback

Year 6

I keep talking to the cars to make them work and earn the grades. One of my mentors told me to start a project on botany. To I till the ground and plant things inside a little glass house. These are odd things, needing to talk to cars and putting things that go outside inside glass houses. But they say I did good. I have a silver badge in Gardening.

I go back to the place where they dig things up of my ancestors again. I tell them what it is. They tell me this way I earn money, for grades again I think. I think maybe one day I will talk to plants. I remember my mum doing that. I wonder now did she talk to them because she was so lonely. I wonder what they told her.
They tell me not to go in the water, but I was in water before I could walk. They make the bank steep so no one goes in, but I can. Why do they make all things not fun? Cannot do that, cannot do this. They say next year I graduate. Good then no more cannots.

Year 5
I play the keys in ecstatic rites as it should be. They do not understand. They think it is a performance not a statement to the gods. They gather people to watch, when I want the gods to watch. Perhaps they think the gods watch through others? More people joined but they do not understand.

I talk to the cars and make them work. I paint them pretty colors to give to others. No not give, sell, for money to earn grades. Always grades. They made me choose a major. I told them I would hold the seas in my hand one day and throw storms and waves from the heavens. They told me to go into Biology.

There are few women here. I try to talk to them but this, this I do not understand. They are so different, and so beautiful. I practice talking to say the right words, the correct words to them.

Year 4

I do not like this place. Many have to do's. Not like have to hunt to eat or build to sleep, but things that don't have meaning. Have to turn in paper with words, have to go to class, have to earn grades.

I make their cars work, I turn brown sweets into animals, I make marks on paper and canvas, pictures and words. I learn a game called chess. I do these thing to earn wages called grades. I do not understand what this wage buys me, but they say I do good. The car is sold to mainland people so I can earn more grades. A+ they call that good.

If I have to learn, have to show them, can I not show them with music, with rain, with the cloud colors? But they do not understand. They call the music a recital. They do not understand.
They do not let me dive from the cliff face or greet the rain when skies sing in thunderous voice. Many people are here but they are faded, they do not know.

Year 3

They say they found me. Wasn't lost. Didn't need finding. Got too close, Mum said to never get that close but the music was so nice, so I got close. They found me. Now they dress me in odd clothes and make me go places. They ask me to write words without making them so they can understand. They tell me they have sent me somewhere good. University they call it. To learn things. What do I need to learn? I will become a hand of the gods. Do I need this University?

They ask me to tell me what the things they pull out of the ground are. They do not even know where to look. I must dig. They know nothing, not even the rooster fertility icons. As Mum said, they know not, they have lost it. They are the ones that be lost.

But now they found me and won't let me be. So I go to this uni and learn mechanics and cooking. I learn so fast I spark in my sleep. This is not normal for them. They do not have the divine knowledge. If I live with them a long time will I lose it too?